Since we've been enjoying such sunny, warm days while still being in March, my spirit is lifted and hope renewed.
Today, a month since John's last treatment for cancer, he made his first trip outside to do his own banking and picking up the paper. I am still doing the driving and he had the trip well mapped out for an easy time of it. I believe the warmer days and bright sunshine has helped to renew his spirit and fresh hope. My role is one of encourager and supporter. Encouraging him by reaffirming that he HAS gotten stronger, he CAN eat everything now, and to allow his mind to accept the fact he ISN'T throwing up anymore! Anyone who has experienced such a traumaticly stressed time of their body sinking so low and being so weak understands the mental and emotional changes. It has been really a difficult period for my husband! Bring on the SPRING! For with the spring season comes fresh hope and renewal, that which was dead now begins to show signs of life anew.
The weight loss and guantness of his body added a certain amount of distress each day as he looked in the mirror every morning. Brushing his teeth, rinsing his mouth with soda water which made him vomit, he wondered if he'd ever gain back himself! The struggle with constipation, bowels backed up, was crippling to his spirit. There wasn't a part of him unaffected by this cancer and it's treatment!
BUT NOW, he's eating everything as well as increasing his intake at each meal, we switched soda water to Club Soda, and with eating regular food amd more of it, he's drinking the Boost/Ensure Protein drinks 3-4x/day instead of 6-8x/day. He's walking stronger and steadier, can speak without slurring and is totally understandable and making sense!
At one point during these past few weeks I wasn't so gracious and kindhearted. It was "John I can't make you do what you need to do, so it's now up to you!" This throwing my hands up in the air attitude did get him moving, so guess it wasn't such a bad thing! I thank God that He turned it into something good for John. I, of course, gently helped him to think things through so that he could make those good choices but didn't take over again! And yes, he did thank me and appreciate my being there every step of the way. This moment also led us to the opportunity to share our frustrations and pain, and fears for a change. Fresh hope, renewed life!
Our future? We return to the hospital for follow-up appointments with the Specialists as well as tests that will show us the prognosis. HOPEFUL? YES! FUTURE? BRIGHT! Why? Because we still have a God Who loves us and is intimitely involved in the Life process! WE CHOOSE LIFE! Spring is shining brightly in my heart & spirit today and my faith is still in the Resurrected Christ Who we celetrate this Season! To God Be The Glory!!
Blessed Easter Everyone - We serve a Risen Savior today & every day! Rejoice evermore!
